We’ve all heard the familiar phrase “failure is not an option.” There are those who also say failure is a choice. These cliche’s are meant to get us through life and serve as motivation and confidence builders. It would be nice if they worked all the time; however, they don’t and if we’re honest we know it. We have become accustomed to saying things without feeling and blindly embracing the meaning behind them to the point they become more ritualistic than realistic.
A recent conversation with a younger woman about failure led me to want to drop some old school knowledge to help her navigate through her 20’s on the way to her 30’s. It’s too bad that more people don’t realize the lessons they’ve learned along the way aren’t things to be ashamed of or forgotten. Instead they should be shared with generations after us so they become healthier mentally, physically and financially at an earlier age thus continuing to help others. The gratitude I have for the gift of knowledge many people who are older than me gave me is tremendous. Not only has it helped me through tough times but also prepared me to avoid some things I wouldn’t have thought about had they not gone through them.
With the above-mentioned thoughts in mind, I do believe two things we could do a better job of culturally at an earlier point is to teach younger people resiliency strategies earlier and imparting the concept of flexibility of perception. When I say teach, I’m not talking about just having conversations or lectures. Teaching to me is also about living what you tell younger people. That’s certainly can be done yet generation after generation many still practice “do as I say not as I do” parenting and business leadership. Think of the following timeline for example. Babies watch to learn as they develop into children who are independent thinkers. Those thinkers become teenagers trying to make sense of it all and then suddenly they’re thrust into young adulthood to make choices based really on what they’ve seen. What they see isn’t always explained to them in a way their developing mind can understand. We are so busy we forget that. This understanding whether narrow or broad becomes part of the way they interact and communicate as young adults. It is then no wonder people scratched their heads when many in my age group were younger and why we continue to scratch our heads at some of the choices made by some younger people. Notice I said some because we know not all people are alike nor am I picking on anyone.
Listen up folks, whether they are your newly graduated co-workers, your children or other impressionable people that somehow cross your path, they watch just about everything you do. They know your mannerisms when you tell the truth and your mannerisms when you lie if they’ve been around you long enough. They know everything from your spending habits to stress habits. They understand your communication style or lack of communication style as well as your conflict resolution style and more. Subsequently, the way you handle what you personally believe to be “failure” has a significant impact on the way they deal with disappointments. This then gets passed down to the next generation whether they are your children, young employees or people in the community.
To begin to build that resiliency for both yourself and others, a perception change is in order. Perceptions are the lens of beliefs we tie ourselves to and then fight like heck to keep even though they don’t always serve us for eternity thus creating the opposite of resiliency. Today I leave you with a phrase I used in my daily inspirational videos I post on Instagram. Wait for it…………. “YOUR MISSTEP IS YOUR BEST STEP IN THE SET UP FOR YOUR COME UP!” This is one of the many statements we can use to change the way we look things that don’t go the way we expected or wanted them to so we can build a more resilient mindset. We are all successful; however, it’s up to us to look at it that way. You can not grow unless you have something to grow from and resiliency allows that to happen.
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